Internet dating sites are a great way to meet new people, whether you're looking for a fast fling, or your soul mate, but before you even sign up to the site you need to be aware that not everyone on the Internet is who they say they are. Unfortunately separating the legitimate date seekers from the thrill seekers can be difficult, and it's also possible that you can allow too much information about yourself to be given out to people who are less than honest about their intentions!
One of the first things you need to do is learn to listen to your instincts. Click around a few different Internet dating sites. What do you feel about them? Do any of them make you feel safe? What about any that make you feel a little vulnerable? Look at the tone of messages in the public areas that people who aren't subscribers have access to. Are these friendly, or do you feel they are a little intrusive?
Once you have selected a few sites that you feel comfortable enough with to try out, take a look at what information you are required to give in order to subscribe to the site. How much of this information is available for other subscribers to read? Is any of this more than you are prepared to make public? If so, then skip the site and choose another - if there's one thing in abundance online, it's Internet dating sites!
Once you've signed up with an Internet dating site or two that you think offers a safe place to find friends and potential partners online, play it cool! The less information you have published at the site about yourself, the better. If you want to say which gender you're seeking, that's fine. What's not so fine is giving enough information about yourself that someone with a purpose to be able to track you down if they had a mind to do so! You should also consider creating a free generic email address specifically for your dating site email so that you aren't traceable through the email you send! Yes, it may sound a little paranoid, but when you are dealing with the Internet, remember that you are giving personal information to many people who you know nothing about and that raises a number of personal safety issues.
The safest way to find a partner online is to hunt rather than be hunted! Keep your profile to a bear minimum, but use the profiles that others have created to find people that you're interested in and contact them. Once you have made contact with someone, and you are reasonably sure that they are as their profile says (more or less - be a little flexible as many people tend to emphasis the positive and ignore the negative!) and you've had a few exchanges of email, then you can start and let down some of your security guards. You might consider giving them your 'normal' email address for example, and discussing personal things about your life such as your work and background. Never give out your telephone number and address to anyone you haven't checked out as much as possible, without them if you choose to walk away from the correspondence you can usually do so without any thought of them pursuing you!
Having emailed back and forth, and possibly chatted online, the next step is a phone call to your online friend, (you call them - this is also a good way of verifying some of their personal information) and after that, arrange a face-to-face meeting. Make arrangements to meet in a public place and don't leave that area on the first date. If your instincts say that this isn't such a good idea, cancel it! If you're just feeling a little nervous, take someone with you until you're happy to be left on your own with your date. If you can't get someone to physically accompany you, have someone call you about 15 minutes into the date - and then about an hour or so later - so that if you're looking for an escape you can make an excuse to leave based on the phone call, but if all's going well you can just say where you are and that you'll call them later.
There are many honest people seeking romance on these Internet dating sites. It's a wonderful way to meet interesting people from all over the world. Unfortunately, it's also a place to meet some unscrupulous people who are out to scam the honest ones - and it's those people that you are using caution to protect against. When you first make contact with someone you have no way of knowing if they are out for your heart, or your identity. By using a little common sense, being a little mysterious, and keeping your personal information to a minimum you can usually weed out the pretenders and find genuine people who, like you, are looking for some online romance.
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