How you Can Have the Best Internet Dating Experience

What to watch out for in a perspective date

In order for you to have the best internet dating experience that is possible, you should be aware of a few scams that may be tried out on you that are popular with con artists you may encounter on many unsecured and free internet dating sites.

One of the most popular involves getting you to part with your money. Beware of a person asking for money no matter what the reason. To have the best internet dating experience, you need to value yourself and know that someone with honest intentions would never ask a person they did not know for money.

Beware of a person that seems just too good to be true because in reality they probably are. Many spouses are looking for extra marital relationships and will say just about anything to attract potential partners. To ensure you have the best internet dating experience, do some research about the site you intend to use and check if there has been any fraud associated with it.

Create a profile to enable you to have the best internet dating experience

To have the best internet dating experience not just for you, but for your prospective dates as well, you are best advised to create a profile that is truthful. Just as you don’t want to be lied to neither does your intended date. They want to have the best internet dating experience too.

Though you may want to present potential dates with a photograph that shows you to your best advantage in order to have the best internet dating experience, provide a recent photo of yourself and not one of you in your long ago prime. Nothing is worse than expecting one thing and being unprepared to see a person who is overweight that has posted a picture of them as slim and trim.

Be sure you tell your correct age, height and weight and be truthful about your relationship status. Posting a recent photo of yourself is said to increase your responses by at least 50%. You should also state in your profile exactly what it is you are looking for, whether it is a long term relationship, or just to find a date with which to have some fun.


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How to Write an Effective Online Profile

If you've ever looked for love on the Web, you already know that the key to online dating success is an excellent profile -- one that presents you in your best light while giving would-be suitors a glimpse of what it'll take to win your heart. Easier said than done. Why not turn to the pros who have researched the online dating world and know what works -- and what doesn't? In I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating, author Evan Marc Katz includes strategies on how to write a terrific online personal ad, and he even offers samples.

When consulting with Internet daters, I take great pains to try to help people spruce up their profiles.
There are usually a bunch of things that can be altered, but most folks have a large blind spot when it comes to writing about themselves honestly, objectively and eloquently. Not only that, but very often the most articulate online daters write whatever comes out of their hearts without thinking of the effect their words are going to have on the reader.

I have deconstructed different profiles and attempted to analyze why I think they succeed.
I took examples from all different demographics, men and women, twenties to sixties, to illustrate that as long as a person writes with a distinct voice the content can vary, but the result will still be positive. What works for one person does not necessarily work for everybody, but the general principles remain the same.

Use specifics.
Be sincere and honest. Write like you talk. Show your personality. If you make jokes, make them tasteful, self-deprecating or sarcastic, and do so with caution. Figure out what makes you different from everyone else, and use it to your advantage. Again, stay away from generic adjectives and focus more on proper nouns and stories.

If you're going to be wordy, have something interesting to say.
Stay consistently positive and confident without seeming annoying and arrogant. Be proud of who you are and wear it confidently in your language and tone. Don't give anyone a reason to say no to you. No red flags, no obvious baggage, no glaring insecurities, no diatribes about past relationships, no spelling mistakes, no superficial wish list about money or looks.

You should have fun writing your profile. If you have fun writing it, the reader will likely have fun reading it.


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How to Write a Great Profile for Internet Dating

There are no secrets to writing a great online dating profile, just common sense and honesty. No matter what your age, height, income or weight, they are what they are and will not change, at least not in the short term. However, they will all have a big influence on your initial contact success rate.

The majority of folks, who use Internet dating sites, have probably been doing so for a while.
Consequently, they are very adept at separating the wheat from the chaff. They do that by looking in-depth at some of the other information on your profile, which is where you can tell the full truth and still stand out.

Just about everybody, have some attributes that make him or her worth getting to know better.
Let yours out and you will attract a larger pool of equally interesting prospects. After all, your friends must think you are attractive, perhaps in a deeper sense than just looks, otherwise they would not be your friend, would they.

A Photo is a Must

The odds of getting any contact at all reduce sharply if you do not supply a photograph.
Most folks are initially attracted by appearance although that does not have to be a negative. Here you have your first chance to stand out. Most folks are not models or movie stars, yet they can still present themselves in the best light.

Many online dating photos are dark, fuzzy, taken at odd angles.
Let them see you. Dress as you would on that first date, which is hopefully better than just kicking-around-on-a-Saturday clothes. Smile, but avoid looking full of yourself.

The Attraction of Confidence

Even among the online dating crowd where some folks turn because they are shy or harder to get to know, self-confidence is the key.
However, you can let them know that you are ready to see and be seen without coming off like a jerk or jerkette. Lead with your strengths, but provide an honest assessment without boasting.

Write Intelligently

You do not have to be a professional to put down words in the form of a grammatical sentence.
See, those English classes turned out to be useful after all. There is a huge range of personal options within the category of style. But, folks who use dating sites are more likely to be better educated, whether that is college or self-taught. Sometimes, the latter are actually more knowledgeable.

If you write like someone who never left third grade,
The odds are high that you will get another person just like the one you did not like the last time. Let your native smarts show, without being showy.

Finally, remember - desperation has the worst odor of all.
Be prepared to lose a few in order to win the best ones. It is possible to push without being pushy. Show your natural gifts and self-developed accomplishments. Those who are like-minded are seeking you, as well, you know.


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How to Safely Meet Strangers from a online dating chat.

You are ready to meet somebody online, that is ready for Online Dating! That means you are not seeing anybody but only talking. Make it an interesting and safe experience.

Use email and the telephone to ask open ended questions and get the other person to share information about himself/herself. In other words, after asking "What kind of work do you do"?, ask "Why do you like that kind of work? What led you into that field?"

Gently interview the other person. Explain to him/her that you don't wish to "pry" into their life, but you feel there are definite possibilities for getting acquainted and you want to be very thorough in this preliminary stage.

Dating over the internet or phone over a longer period of time is better so that you can get to know the person better and who what their temperament, personality, character is like. Meeting up with someone you met only a couple of times doesn't give you their full spectrum of personality traits.

Do not promise a date or a meeting until you have had at least five fifteen minute or longer conversations by phone in advance of suggesting a personal meeting.

Do not rely only on email or written letters to get acquainted. Use ALL mediums possible. This will give the persona a better idea about your personality, it will bring up different aspects which may not be seen through just one way.

Be "businesslike". Don't arrange a first "date" -- arrange a "meeting", lunch or coffee break with a defined ending time. It should be casual.

When you arrange to meet the other person, leave a trail. Tell a trusted friend or relative who you are meeting, where and what time you're expected back.

Meet in a well lighted, public place which each of you can get to easily.


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How to Meet an Online Love Face-to-Face

You think you've met your soul mate -- or at least a decent dinner partner -- online. You've warmed up to each other through email and IM, and it's time to kick this thing up a notch.

Here's how to make it work.

Rule 1: You don't know this person.

Yes, yes, you've had three-hour IM conversations and exchanged hundreds of emails. But that doesn't mean you know this person at all. You don't really know what your buddy looks like, sounds like, acts like in person.

He may have a hard time expressing himself face-to-face (see rule #4); you may have thought all those references to "meeting with my lawyers" meant he was a high-powered executive when actually he's deep in a custody battle. (Conversely, your flame may not be ready for you to spring the idea of a perfect future in a four-bedroom colonial on him on the first date.)

Take it slow. If something doesn't seem right, respect -- and respond to -- that feeling. If he asks for your phone number too early in the game, politely explain you'd like to wait a while. "Men generally don't have the same apprehensions about online dating as women have, so they tend to cut to the chase much quicker," says Trish McDermott, Match.com's dating expert. "Let him know that any hesitation isn't about him in particular." And if the first phone call doesn't go well, don't feel pressured to have to meet him in person.

Rule 2: Phone first, then face-to-face.

Even in the absence of red flags, don't jump from email to dining under the stars together in a single bound. Set up at least one or two phone conversations -- more, perhaps, if you two aren't in the same city.

Use these talks as a way to get to know the person better and to judge whether you want to take the relationship to the next step. On the positive side, treat your first phone contact as an actual date, a way to get to know the person better.

See whether the online spark translates into the offline world. "Go all out," Trish advises. "Set up a time when the two of you will each be home and alone. Pamper yourself a bit before the call. Take a long luxurious bath, or work out and then treat yourself to a hot shower. Wear something that makes you feel desirable. Even though your date can't see you, the right ambiance sparks romance."

Rule 3: Play it safe on your first date.

Always, always set up your first date at a highly trafficked public place, at a reasonable time of day -- late afternoon or early evening. "A familiar restaurant or coffee shop is fine, but not at midnight. Never meet at one of your homes or places of employment," Trish says. "Avoid hikes, bike rides or drives in remote areas for the first few dates.

If you decide to move to another location, take your own car. Make sure you end the date while there are still other people present." These precautions don't make you paranoid; they're just common sense. If going to another town to meet your online friend, "Arrange for your own car and a hotel room," Trish says.

"Do not disclose the name of your hotel, and never allow your date to make the arrangements for you. Rent a car at the airport and drive directly to your hotel. Call your date from the hotel or meet at the location you have already agreed to. If the location seems inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel."

Rule 4: Don't put too much pressure on yourself -- or your date.

Planning a first date that's too long is a recipe for failure. "Don't plan an entire day together," Trish says. "Meet for one activity, and keep it at an hour or two." If things go well, there will be plenty of other opportunities to go on an all-day hike or spend hours antiquing through the countryside.

And keep it light: "Stay away from any intense issues or conversations. Don't interrogate your date, but do use this time as an opportunity to learn a bit more." Keep in mind, however, that many guys are more expressive in email than in person.

If Chatty Charlie turns out to be the strong, silent type in person, it doesn't necessarily spell disaster. You might have to work a little harder to draw him out in person. But if he refuses to answer questions, or his behavior makes you at all uncomfortable, take that as a red flag and remove yourself from the situation.

Rule 5: Make a good impression.

As cautious as you need to be, you also want to impress your date -- after all, he could be Mr. Right. If he's an upstanding sort of chap, he'll see your precautions as the signs of a mature, intelligent woman, but you still want to balance that with putting on your best face and behaving in a friendly manner.

(No one's going to ask someone out again if they're openly hostile.) "You make your best real-world first impression by being calmly and confidentially yourself," Trish says. "Try to enjoy the nervous energy you are feeling. Have fun. Remember to smile. People are perceived as more attractive when they are having a good time.

" She says the top attributes that go toward making a good first impression are "warmth, a sense of humor, imagination, confidence, success, fitness, individuality, body language, conversational ability, creativity and kindness." You may not be a perfect 10 in all of those, but you can certainly make sure the areas you are strong in shine. And that's good advice not just for the dating world but for your whole life.

Good luck!


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How to Act on a First Date

First dates can be intimidating but by following a few simple tips on how to act on a first date, you will not only survive that first meet but also guarantee yourself a second date. All it takes is some careful planning, remaining flexible, being tidy, polite and courteous, being relaxed and honest, being committed to having a good time and sharing about you without monopolizing the conversation.

Careful planning will help you to survive your first date and may lay the groundwork for a second date. Make sure you have planned the date ahead of time and arranged it so that it runs smoothly. On a first date, it is best not to leave anything to chance or to rely on making on the spot decisions about what to do next because doing so can create uncomfortable moments.

Do not just plan what you would like to do on the date but also map out the best routes to arrive at your destinations and pre-arrange any necessary reservations so you do not wind up not being able to find your destination or waiting a long time for an activity.

While careful preparation before the date will ensure that everything runs smoothly and will eliminate any unnecessary tension on the date, you may still need to remain flexible. Regardless of your best efforts, you may suffer a hitch in your plans and being flexible and willing to adapt to the situation will prevent you and your date from becoming frustrated. Your date will be impressed that you went to so much trouble in planning the date and will be flattered by your efforts.

Key characteristics for surviving a first date include tidiness, politeness and courteousness. While these characteristics are important in any dating situation they are particularly important on a first date. This is your opportunity to make a first impression that your date will admire, so go all out in trying to impress him or her.

Put extra effort into your personal appearance and strive to remain polite and courteous at all times. Showing your date that you respect them by taking pride in your appearance and treating them with respect will help you to not only survive a first date but also guarantee a second one.

It is important to be relaxed and honest during your date. If you are tense or evasive, your date may not trust you and will not be comfortable or eager to go on a second date with you. If you try to be something you are not, your date will most likely see through your charade and will be put off by your dishonesty.

In addition, they most likely will not be interested in pursuing a second date. However, if you relax and are completely honest, your personality will shine through and impress your date enough to entice them to be interested in a second meet.

Committing to having a good time will help you to survive a first date and guarantee a second one. If you go into a first date with apprehensions or prejudices, you will find yourself not having a good time. It is extremely difficult to have a good time if you are not open to the experience.

On the other hand, if you are truly optimistic and are looking forward to the day, you and your date will most likely wind up having a great time together. Your optimism and attitude will be infectious and will ensure that you both have a great time on the first date and are eager for a second.

Finally truly being interested in sharing details of your personal life and learning more about your date will ensure that you survive a first date. If you do not open up to your date and show them who you really are, they will most likely not be interested in a second date with your or even sharing much about themselves on the first date. If you are not afraid to share personal information about yourself and are open to listening to what your date has to say, you will have a very successful first date.

Many singles find themselves nervous and apprehensive on a first date because they worry about how they will get through the date and whether or not this first date will lead to future dates. It is okay to be nervous about a first date but following the advice in this article can enable you to not only survive a first date but also guarantee yourself a second one.


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How Singles Can Take Advantage of Valentine's Day

By Dr. Neil Clark Warren

There's a change in the way single Americans are looking at life. The old ideas about society's expectations are giving way to a new mind-set, to new ideas about managing life's most important decision. In my role as eHarmony founder, I get to touch base with many people who are searching for their life-long mate, and I am often astounded by the not-so-subtle change that is taking place.

The "needing" a mate to survive has become "wanting" a soul mate to create a brilliant, loving relationship. The idea that you can fix a mate once you're married and the relationship is already entrenched is fading, as more people insist on choosing emotionally healthy marriage candidates. And perhaps most importantly, singles are looking for mates who are similar to them in the ways that really matter most for long-term happiness.

Still, many of the singles I talk to dread Valentine's Day. They see it as a reminder that they don't have a special person sharing their life. They see all the romantic celebration around them and feel down and left out.

If you are single, why no celebrate this Valentine's Day in a way that will turn your thinking upside down. Use the day for your own purposes, to celebrate the changes you're making in your search for someone special.

You're Celebrating Your Decision to Select With Care

Most relationships are born based on four or five compatible traits (usually appearance, status, personality and chemistry). Based on my research, I learned that there are 29 critical dimensions in which most happy and successful couples enjoy great similarity. Once you start to learn about these traits, your mate selection process changes forever.

I firmly believe -- and my clinical experience has shown -- that individuals who are well-matched in these 29 areas have more enjoyable marriages. They share so much similarity that the mechanics of living together and loving each other just work well.

By celebrating this change in your thinking, you're virtually guaranteeing that you will never end up in a marriage where the differences between you and your spouse tear the relationship to pieces.

You're Celebrating Your Commitment to Emotional Health

Helping persons find a suitable marriage partner is an extremely complex endeavor, but in the center of all this complexity there is one simple and unchangeable truth -- a great marriage is built by two emotionally healthy individuals.

You may wonder how a person goes about becoming more emotionally healthy. Well, after seeing patients for 35 years, I've been able to draw a strong connection between emotional health and great decision-making. In fact, I believe that emotional health can practically be defined as a person's ability to make great decisions from moment to moment.

Let me repeat that: If you can make great decisions from moment to moment that balance a variety of concerns and input, you are enjoying emotional health.

For many years, my father made practically every decision for me. I was 30 years old. I was living miles away from him. He wasn't telling me what to do per se, but every decision I had to make was based on what I thought my father wanted me to do. He was living in my head, making my decisions for me.

The most important key to making great decisions is making sure that you are the only person in your "control booth." If you will commit on this Valentine's Day to this concept of emotional health, and live each day with an insistence upon making your own decisions, you will be laying the groundwork for a loving, healthy marriage somewhere down the road.

You're Celebrating Your Commitment to In-Depth Knowledge Before You Become Emotionally Involved

As human beings we are, in some ways, at the mercy of our biology. Ending a relationship, even with someone that we know is wrong for us, can be heart-wrenchingly difficult once we become emotionally connected. This quicksand effect has created mountains of misery for many well-meaning couples.

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is a commitment to getting to know someone well before becoming emotionally attached. By committing on this Valentine's Day to approach every date with your ears wide open and your objectivity in place, you can learn much of what you need to know about a potential partner before you lose your heart to him or her.

You're Celebrating Your Decision to Hold Out for Your Soul Mate

Many people decide that good enough is good enough. They decide that being alone is too painful and settle for the "next" person instead of the "right" person. I believe in the power of your soul mate, and I always encourage people to hold out until they meet that one special person.

This Valentine's Day, I want you to celebrate your refusal to settle. I'd like you to make a list of your top 10 "must have" traits and your top 10 "can't stand" traits. Don't be surprised when you discover how difficult this list is to create. You may have 50 items that you "must have" in a mate, but if you'll commit to a top-10 list, you will have given focus to your search and created a reasonable expectation.

Once they are completed, these two lists are absolute. This Valentine's Day, you are celebrating the power of your "must have's" and "can't stands." From this day forward, you will refuse to even consider a partner who does not fulfill both lists. This is the gold standard, and you will never accept less. As I'm fond of saying, a bad marriage is a million times worse than no marriage at all.

So, on Feb. 14, call some friends, order a pizza, go out on the town, do something special and celebrate the peace of mind you have in knowing that you are changing the way you search for a soul mate. Celebrate, knowing that when you do meet that soul mate, you'll be ready to create a brilliant relationship that will last the rest of your life.


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How Does Online Dating Work

You have heard folks chatting about it, you have more than likely seen advertisements for online dating services on television but for some reason, you have not yet tried it. Perhaps you are a little nervous or possibly, you do not know a lot about computers and the Internet. Maybe you will think less of yourself if you try to meet someone using technology rather than your own personality.

These concerns are quite understandable, but when you consider that millions of men and women are doing it every day, you have to think that maybe dating on line is not so bad after all.

So, I hear you ask, what is online dating and how does it work?

You first need a means to connect to the Internet, which most people already have so that should not be an issue.

Then using the Internet, you need to find a suitable personals dating website although do not let the word suitable scare you off. As you will see once you get into on line dating, many different dating sites cater to different groups or lifestyles. You will find senior online dating sites, Christian online dating services, single parent online dating, Finnish personals, Oklahoma singles and many more. In fact, there is an online dating community covering every genre you can think of.

Most of the online matchmaking or dating sites are subscription based, meaning that you will have to join before you will be able to participate. It will probably cost you money to join most dating websites but on some, membership is free. The procedure of joining normally does not involve much more than agreeing to the match websites terms and conditions and paying the fee, if applicable.

Once you are a member, the next thing you will need to do is create a profile and a header. Writing an online dating profile is not that difficult and is what other members are going to read. Based on your profile, another person should be able to decide whether you sound like somebody worth pursuing.

An effective profile not only describes you, it also talks about the qualities you are looking for in somebody else. Make it as unique as possible and be certain to proofread it before posting. That way, you can be sure that what it says is actually, what you want it to say. If the site allows members to attach photos to their profiles, you will have to decide if this is something you will want to do. If so, just follow the site's instructions on how to attach the photo to your profile.

Once your profile is posted, you can sit back and wait for others to begin corresponding or you can start checking out other members' profiles. If you find somebody who sounds interesting, you can initiate a conversation.

As well as corresponding via email and the facility to sort and delete your messages, online dating services usually offer other activities that you can partake in. Some sites offer live conversations via a message board or forum, whilst others host special events. Check both out and see whether these activities appeal to you.

Most online dating services are open around the clock so you can 'date' when it is convenient for you. As well as that, new members join all the time so there will always be someone new to check out!


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Guide to Online Dating and Services

When you think about the ease and convenience of the Internet, it is no surprise that online dating has become the success that it has. After all, the Internet is the first place that many people turn to for shopping, banking, research and a whole host of other activities. Consequently, online matchmaking is really just an extension of those other activities.

Pros and Cons of Online Dating

Online personals are a quick, easy and fun way to meet many people from all over the globe who you would not usually meet up with through traditional dating.

With offline dating, you are more or less limited to dating others from within a certain geographical area.

Dating online is a reasonably safe way to date as well. You do not have to agree to meet someone you have met online until you are ready to. On the other hand, if you are never ready, that is okay too. You can stop communicating with someone any time you are feeling uncomfortable.

When compared to traditional dating, dating online is quite inexpensive. After all, when you date on line, it is not necessary to spend money on a new outfit or an expensive dinner. However, once you find that special someone and you begin dating in the traditional manner, this will definitely change!

Corresponding with potential mates, which in traditional dating is better known as the 'getting to know each other' stage happens in the comfort of your own home and in your pajamas if you so choose. The pressure to make a great first impression is off when you date online and for many people, that is quite a relief.

Perhaps most importantly, people are tired of the traditional dating scene and all the head games and the rejection that go along with it. When people sign up for online dating and services, there is generally no mistaking what they are looking for. Relationships begin online and they end online, but online, putting an end to one, and handling rejection when it happens to you, is much easier!

Cons of Online Dating

Online dating does have its issues and it is important that anyone thinking about dating this way should be aware of the pitfalls. Perhaps most importantly is to accept that not everyone is who he or she claims to be. It is easy to create an identity online which makes it difficult to confirm who is genuine and who is not.

In addition, because it is impossible to really know whom you are dealing with, it is never a good idea to give out personal details, even if you have been communicating for a long time.

Another potential downside is that many online dating services allow their members to post photographs as part of the profile. However, with all the photo enhancing technologies that are available today, there really is no way of knowing whether the photo you are looking at is a true representation of the person you are communicating with or not.

Of course, that can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on how much value you place on looks. If you remember the old saying of 'never judge a book by its cover', this should not be a problem for you.


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Getting Over Being Dumped: Tips for Coping with the End of a Relationship

From time to time, relationships go badly wrong. Most of us have been abandoned by a partner at some stage ion life. If not then you are very lucky. It is easier to leave someone than be dumped yourself but if you have been left, then you need to take your time and have a period of mourning before dating again. If a major relationship has ended it will take some time to recover and anyone who suggests you just bounce back is a fool as they are not in touch with the reality of the situation.

Do rely on good friends and do find time for yourself but ultimately it is time that will sort things out for you. Distance from the event and plenty of thinking and pondering will help put things in perspective but I will say that it is generally the case that that particular relationship didn't work out because there are far better things in store for you.

If that relationship didn't end, how would you ever go on to meet Mr. or Miss Right?

* Accept what has happened and do not try to win your ex back

* Never go back to someone once they have left you, it won't work

* Take some time out from socializing to get to grips with what has happened

* Make time for yourself to do some thinking

* Never allow your ex to suggest you will both be good friends

* Don't get in touch with, or try and see your ex to sort things out as you are
fooling yourself. Once someone has taken such a major step it is usually for
good

* Remove anything in your apartment that reminds you of them. Have a spring clean

* Do not allow your ex back into your house, it's over

* If you had shared friends, it will be a difficult period. Be prepared that
some people will fall by the way side

* Do rely on your best friends for comfort and they should allow you to talk as
much as you need.

* As soon as you can, come to terms with the loss and realize that you are not
going to be single again forever. That will not happen

* Do everything you can to rebuild your self confidence and demonstrate to
yourself what your ex lost

* Never blame yourself. If someone left you it was purely their decision. If
they couldn't communicate with you prior to the event it was their own failing

* If your ex was unfaithful if has nothing to do with your own bedroom prowess.
More their lack of self-respect

* Though it is a powerful mood, do not harbor grudges and desire revenge too
much. Hurting someone brings you down to their level. The best revenge is in
bouncing back and demonstrating how much they actually lost

* Learn from the failed relationship, not only about yourself but about what you
will never accept again in future dating needs

* Lose the photographs. There is no comfort to be found there

* Do allow yourself to be angry for a short time. In doing so you will feel
empowered to move on

* Being rejected hurts so don't allow anyone to tell you otherwise

* When you are ready do start socializing again even if dating is some way off

* Don't start a new relationship on the rebound, it is highly likely to fail and
you will hurt the new person too

* Hold your head up high and think only of positive things where possible

* Sometimes it is necessary to move location or job to recover. If this is the
case, it will herald a fresh start

* Don't email/phone your ex or look for reasons because you will often be lied
too. They will try and spare your feelings (laughably) by avoiding what they
really think

* Take a vacation if you can and get a wider sense of perspective. This includes
meeting new people and making new friends

* Don't go to your old haunts secretly hoping to run into your ex. That is a
recipe for disaster and will prolong the healing process

* Eventually, do treat yourself and buy new clothes and even change your image
slightly to get a fresh feel for things. A new haircut can do wonders and
instill a new sense of confidence

* Be patient and take your time with anything. Ultimately in the years that
follow you will feel strong and confident and will go on to have a beautiful
relationship. Just thank your lucky stars it wasn't with the fool who just
walked out the door

* Never make rash decisions in the days after being dumped. This is not the time
for clarity of judgment. Your friends will help you.


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Fun First Dates | First Date Ideas

Once you have found somebody who has agreed to go out on a first date with you, you may find yourself under a lot of pressure in planning that first date.

Planning a first date can be very stressful because you want everything to go without a hitch in order that you can perhaps set yourself up for a second date.

Ideally, the first date offers a couple the chance to get to know each other better in a casual atmosphere that does not put too much pressure on either of them to keep up a constant stream of small talk. If you have any reservations about the conversation aspect of a first date, you can always plan a date that focuses more on an activity than on conversation.

This type of date which focuses on a fun filled activity may be beneficial in leading to a second date. First dates do not have to be stressful and there are many activities that are perfect for whatever type of date you are looking to have.

First Date Ideas

Dinner Theater - The atmosphere in a dinner theater is usually cozy and romantic while at the same time providing the perfect blend of conversation and entertainment. While a traditional dinner date can lead to awkward pauses in the conversation and the stress of juggling dinner and conversation, a dinner theater removes that problem because the meal is usually served during the performance. ]

Consequently, you will be able to eat your meal without having to worry about small talk. During the intervals you can get to know each other and if you have trouble with a conversation starter you can always fall back on talking about the performance.

Museums or Art Galleries - The laid back atmosphere of a museum or art gallery removes the normal pressures of first dates as there is so much to see and do that you will not be lacking things to talk about. You can spend a few hours wandering through the exhibits and really get to know your date. Be sure to ask questions about what your date likes or does not like about the exhibits. Being inquisitive will give you a better understanding of your date’s personality.

Theme Parks - Everybody loves the chance to relive their childhood again and the opportunity to spend a day on thrill rides is a great way to spend a first date. The long queues will give you plenty of time to talk and get to know each other and you may find that every time the conversation starts to dry up, you have made it to the front of the queue and it is your turn to jump on board and enjoy the ride. The exhilaration of thrill rides may loosen inhibitions and bring a first date couple closer together.

Movie and Dinner - If you are nervous about conversation, you may want to try the traditional movie and dinner first date. The movie portion of the date takes the stress of conversation off of your shoulders and afterward at dinner you have an instant conversation starter. If you cannot think of anything to talk about, you can always ask her what she thought of the movie in order to start up a conversation. You may just find that after spending a couple of hours in a movie theater, you already feel a lot closer to your date and conversation will just flow naturally.

Coffee Shop - If conversation is not a problem for you and you are not concerned about keeping a conversation going, a great first date idea would be a coffee shop. The coffee shop environment is such that there is little else to do except talk to your date. This is a perfect scenario for the person who enjoys the art of conversation and is really looking forward to getting to know their date.

Fun Center or Funfair - A trip to a funfair that offers mini-golf and arcade games is another fun first date idea. Engaging in a game of miniature golf or squaring off by playing some video games is a fun and competitive way to spend your first date. The activities are lighthearted and fun and introducing the element of competition really loosens people up so you and your date will probably have an easy time getting to know each other.

The key to a successful first date is to plan activities that are fun and entertaining without placing too much pressure on either party. Finding relaxing ways to get to know your date will ensure that your first date is a no stress event that will quite possibly lead to a second date.

A completely no stress date is one that both parties enjoy and one that allows the couple to engage in a balance of fun and meaningful conversation without putting too much emphasis on any one aspect of the date.


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Five Great Internet Dating Ideas

If you are really interested in impressing someone you met on an internet dating website, you may want to think about what it is the two of you should do for your first date. Most people meet for coffee and that is fine to see if you are interested in a real date, but if you want to really make an impression, you might want to think of something unique for the two of you to do.

How about a game of pool

Taking your date to play a few games of pool doesn’t mean you have to take them to a bar. This is a terrific internet dating idea. You can visit one of the many pool halls you are sure to find in your area. Many pool halls are classically decorated and cater to a varied crowd. Many serve drinks, have other games to play and serve a variety of food. This can be a casual atmosphere in which you and your date can get to know each other and have some fun.

The finest restaurant in town

You are sure to make a gold impression by taking your date to the finest dining establishment in town. This internet dating idea is one that is sure to score points. You can make reservations and have some special touches in place before you arrive. You might ask for fresh flowers on the table, a special bottle of wine or arrange for a signature dessert to end the evening.

Maybe a round of golf

If your internet dating buddy is into hitting the links, you might think about a rousing game of golf for your first date. You can pick an impressive course that will challenge you both while giving you a chance to learn more about each other. If conventional golf is not your thing, why not play a game of miniature golf? This permits you to converse freely while having a good time in view of plenty of people.

A picnic spells romance

Planning a picnic in the park, by a lake or along the shore is a wonderfully romantic internet dating idea. Your date and you will enjoy the fresh air and sunshine while you take the time to get to know each other as you share a picnic lunch. You can create a variety of finger foods that are bound to tempt the taste buds of your date.

Get behind the wheel

Another fun idea for you and your date to do is to check out a go cart track. This can be an exciting way for you to spend time with your date. Often there are a wide array of other games of skill and chance to try your hand at playing.

You and your date will be in a relaxed atmosphere where having fun is the name of the game. If an arcade is not your style or you hate go carts, perhaps you can visit a festival or a fair in your area. Being in public is important to the both of you since you have communicated only online and these ideas will allow you to feel safe as well as get to know your potential mate.


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Finding a Great Guy Online: An Insider's Guide And three success stories...

by Marissa Gold

Looking for a serious relationship? There's surely no faster or easier way to meet someone than through online dating — and weeding out Mr. Wrongs from the comfort of your own home sure beats spending countless Saturday nights on dates from hell. But is it really as simple as logging on, signing up and — POOF! — finding your soul mate? Maybe! But the perfect guy won't necessarily come to you — you've got to use the resources at your fingertips to find each other. But who am I to say this, and how do I know? Well…

As you may have guessed, I'm speaking from experience. I met my boyfriend online over a year ago. I may have been a 20-something single smack-dab in one of the most active dating scenes in the world, but NYC is notorious for being a very challenging place to meet quality guys. So when I'd had one too many $14 drinks and heard one too many lame pickup lines, I started complaining to friends about my dating difficulties.

Surprisingly, everyone had the same response: "Have you tried going online?" Apparently, they all had — and they gave it positive reviews across the board. So I signed up on a site, and, lo and behold, the first guy I went out with ended up becoming my boyfriend. Was it luck or just solid technique? I like to think it was a little of both.

Two women who have the technique down are Beth Roberts and Karin Anderson, who recently co wrote a book called Finding Your Mate Online: No Fear, No Embarrassment, Just Love! Why did these two high-powered businesswomen write a book? Because they're both smart, attractive and successful — and they both met their husbands online. "We strongly believe that you should approach online dating as though it were a job. Don't just jump in; be organized and have a plan," says Roberts.

Here are their seven top tips.

1. Just Say No

The first rule of success is to not compromise. "If you definitely want to meet a man to marry and have children, make that one of your criteria," says Roberts. And if you have a deal breaker in mind, don't compromise on that either. These aren't silly things like a hair-color preference; these are real needs that only you can identify for yourself.

Now, as for the guys who don't make the cut, there will inevitably be many of them who'll contact you. And if you know you're not interested, writing out a detailed pity response to each one will just take time away from finding someone you do want to pursue. Anderson's advice: Prepare a standard reply for men who don't meet your requirements:

"Thanks for your reply. You sound like a great guy, but I don't think we're a match. Best of luck in your search!"

Simple as that. And you're on to bigger and better things…

2. Sell Yourself

Next up: your profile. "The number one mistake that everyone — not just women — makes with an online dating ad is writing about what they want instead of what they have to offer," says Roberts. It's important to give people a sense of your personality and what you bring to the table, too.

Anderson adds, "Too often we find women's ads full of clichés like 'I love romantic walks on the beach' or generic statements like 'I love going to the movies.' Offer examples of what you did last weekend, which book you're in the middle of reading, and what athletic activity you do every week." Don't be afraid to get a little personal — that's why it's called a personal ad, after all.

3. Tell Me No Lies

Many people fear online dating for the same reason: They're afraid people aren't honest in their profiles. The temptation to knock off a few pounds, a few years, or even to add a figure or two to your salary can be tempting. But resist the urge! "White lies or fudging, whatever you want to call it, defeats the entire purpose of online dating!" says Anderson. "You're looking for someone who thinks you are the most fabulous person in the world."

So don't worry about whether you'd look better if you made a little tweak here, a little change there: If you want a lasting relationship, you'll need to find someone who loves you just the way you are.

4. It Takes a Village

Online dating doesn't have to be something you do secretly on your own. Get your friends, your coworkers or even your family involved. It's great to get input on your profile (or someone else's) from people who know you.

Plus, keeping friends in the loop by checking out different profiles together makes the whole process more fun! Just don't forget to get some guys involved. "We all know great men similar to the one we'd like to meet. They are our coworkers, brothers-in-law, acquaintances, etc.," says Anderson. "Get their opinion on your ad… and follow their advice!"

5. Do the Dirty Work

Remember that part about not expecting the perfect guy to come to you? Well, now's the time to go find him. Search through thousands or even millions of profiles by making use of different filters available on the site. Whether you narrow potential dates down by age, distance from you or even specific preferences like smoker or nonsmoker and hip-hop or classic rock, be proactive and look around at who's out there.

Jot down favorites you find as you go and create a list of your top 10. Some dating sites even allow you to bookmark profiles or create a list within the site itself. Then send a quick note to each guy to initiate the conversation. Be brief, be friendly and highlight a common interest if you can. For example:

Hi. I saw that you went to Vassar — I did too! What year did you graduate?

or

Hi, there! So, you love bulldogs? I have one (Sparky). You can see him in one of the pictures on my profile. What do you think? Is he cute enough for you?

If he hadn't come across your profile before, you know he'll check it out now.

6. First-Date Prep

Once you've chatted with someone long enough to get a vibe from each other, it's time to take things offline. While it can seem like you already know him, don't forget that he's still technically a stranger, and you should take the same precautions you would when going on any other first date.

Before you meet a guy face-to-face, you should Google him to see if what he said about his past (what he does for a living, where he went to school) matches up. It's also a good idea to have a brief phone conversation, which can help break the ice and give you a better sense of his personality. As for the actual date, Roberts emphasizes the importance of meeting in a public place like a bar or restaurant and arranging your own transportation so you won't be relying on — or stuck with — anyone.

7. Still No Luck?

If you haven't met a match yet, Anderson points out that you shouldn't give up — just change your profile. "If you don't receive the replies you desire, have you tried a new screen name? New photos? New ad?" Try making your screen name more specific — using an ordinary one puts you at risk to blend in with thousands of other similar names.

And try uploading more than just one photo; it'll give other members a better idea of what you look like. One final trick to tip the odds in your favor: "We recommend you post at least two ads simultaneously," says Roberts. One at a major Website with millions of members, and one at a specialty Website where you have a common interest with other members right off the bat. If you're active about doing your part to put yourself out there, chances are you will find what you're looking for.

Just Do It!

If you're still hesitant to try online dating, remember this: The pool of people who date online is growing exponentially. With major dating sites seeing membership in the millions, you instantly have that many more potential dates than what any local bar can offer.

Before you've even said hello, you've got a stat sheet in front of you telling you everything you need to know (and then some) about every guy on the site — and in his own words. Plus, you'll be able to meet people you'd never come across in real life. My boyfriend lived 10 blocks away, worked across the street from my office and grew up in the same town as I did, but neither of us knew the other existed until we discovered each other online. So just give it a try! You could be passing a great guy on the street every day and not even know it.

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